The Parent is the Primary Educator
The Pandemic has Changed Parenting
Most of us, in Pre-COVID times, would drop off our kids at school in a rush to get back to the rat race. Then we would spend the next 7 hours at work trusting, hoping, and possibly worrying that our kids were getting what they need to be successful at school.
In our imagination, the time spent sitting at a desk and listening to a trained professional explain history, mathematics, literature, and science would somehow make them graduate ready to face this increasing complicated and chaotic world.
As parents, exhausted and distracted by our phones, would pick our kids up from school, we would fight make the few hours before bed FUN, even memorable. However, most nights may have been spent arguing, deal making, and pleading to get homework done.
For many families, the idea of school had become these wacky “Common Core” worksheets and an underlying frustration. School was a disruption of the few precious moments of bonding left in the day.
Our society was too busy to question how an underpaid, but well intentioned, teachers could possibly ensure 30+ kids will stay on track to go to college, fulfill their potential and make a career for themselves. These unspoken expectations have caused a rising anxiety on the schools side as well.
Then came a global pandemic that turned our lives upside down. For those who were lucky enough to keep their jobs, school and work worlds collided. It has been strange reset to the whole field of education. Parents can look over their kid's shoulder and see their classroom. Working in a school, I can say this has freaked teachers out in the beginning. Having 30 parents deciding to do a classroom observation on the same day was the stuff of educator nightmares.
Now secret is out. The system we use to educate children in America is outdated. While the people who choose to be teachers come in all personality types and ability levels, very few are given the proper training to handle a classroom on their first day. None of them are prepared to tap into the high levels of discussion necessary for students to master the Common Core. There just isn't a text book for this anymore. It has become obvious now to parents when their kids are struggling, and we may blame the zoom format and simply wait out the storm. I think the problem is much deeper.
If you do a quick Google search on how learning best occurs, you will notice a fact which has been proven over and over again. Children require undivided attention to learn a new concept. They need someone to listen and answer their questions. They need someone who can truly see their methods of understanding the world to help guide them to success. Who is in the best position to provide this? Classroom teachers? Tutors? Educational Specialists? Not so much…
Parents, guardians, even siblings have a much better insight into child's learning. Who are they are most comfortable making mistakes in front of… its YOU.
The Concept of Homework is Broken
A parent’s role in 20th century schools has become confined to the absurd cultural concept of “Homework.” The actual purpose of this work is purely practice. Ask any teacher, most of the homework worksheets and learning software activities you wrestle with each night are fairly meaningless to your child’s grade or progress in mastering the standards. A good teacher is like a Doctor and much prefers their own carefully constructed exam or their own observational notes of a student’s performance in class, when making this diagnosis.
In addition, homework carries a connotation of judgement for parents, which they in turn, pass this anxiety to their children. As a result, most of homework is either incomplete, copied or a demonstration of the parent’s recollection of fractions. However, if a teacher ever decided to stop giving homework, there would be judgement from parents who would object to being to “easy.” When I was a teacher, I would throw it away most mornings when they went to recess. Once we had a school garden we were able compost all that paper.
Early in my career, my mentor teacher showed me a way to make this ritual more useful. Homework, if treated properly can provide a great way to uncover confusion. She gave me the courage to announce one year to parents at the Back to School Night that I didn’t care if they finished the homework every night. Instead I asked the students in my class to celebrate the questions to which they know the answer, but circle words and questions that confused. On good days, these homework assignments became road maps to make my small group teaching time efficient. Most of the time however, parents couldn’t bare to have circles on their child’s paper.
The Return of the Parent’s Role in Education
For millions of years, humans have learned about the world from those with whom they shared a cave or hut. How do you catch a deer? How do you grow the vegetables? How do we find the right berries that don't poison us? Why does the moon come out at night? This is why human children are built to ask so many questions.
By putting down the phone and turning off the TV, you can open up more opportunities for these conversation at any moment. You can sit down to dinner or a bed time story and truly listen to your child’s attempts to make sense of their world. A simple conversations starter like “what did you learn today at school?” or “was there anything confusing you today?” can revolutionize your child’s outlook on learning, school, and your role in their lives.
With a few daily routines and some time set aside for discussion, you have the potential to feed your child’s teacher information on learning gathered from intimate and profound conversations with your child. This will greatly enhance their ability to target instruction directly at these specific confusions, and make tremendous progress quickly in their time. Even better, your child will see you with pride, as a trusted source of information. (which can prove useful in 8th grade)
The purpose of this website is to provide you with the tools you need to begin this journey. I promise once you witness that first lightbulb moment you will be hooked!